I’m not this person who does not look like me …
“I’m fifteen when I start Sophie’s program. Several of my friends have already done her program, girls and boys of my age, and told me good things, they all managed to lose weight, without difficulty, but I had already tried so many things since I was little, I cannot make up my mind to start a new battle against food and against myself.Yet somehow, I ended up getting started because I like beautiful things. I am an aesthete, and I do not want to see me fat or lose the gift of my body. It’s not narcissistic, I’m not the kind of person who likes to expose or please at all costs, but I do not see what I would use this excess weight for, in fact I know it does not serve me. I felt uncomfortable sometimes, looked at wrong, judged for what I looked like and not who I am, it is then that I do not feel comfortable with this body. I do not recognise myself in this form of myself, in this distorted version of myself.
I am someone who loves life, freedom, someone curious and dynamic, a little girl missed on the edges because I grew up with my cousins who were all boys, and with my weight sometimes, I could not do the things I would wanted to do. It’s ridiculous, and finally it is ridiculous not to believe that I’m able to change. If others have, why not I? My life would be so much easier, I could do whatever I want, climb trees, dive, ride horses, climb, dance, feel free from my movements. I can especially be myself and do not ask me any more questions because this subject has been a constant part of my childhood, and of our family life. Everyone has always been worried about me at home, as if the world was going to collapse because of those extra kilos …
I do not want any more of this, it’s too heavy for me to carry, I want to change. Absolutely it’s time for me to change my life, to become light again and free of my movements.
Sophie surrounds me, with tact and kindness, I drop my kilos overboard, finished are the rolls, finished are the shapeless pullovers that I constantly pull down to hide my belly, finished the constant complexes and the reddened eyes, finished the shame, no more weight, no more endless discussions and family headaches that always end in tears, no more faded diets that just keep you from living but you’re safe from everything. Hello freedom, hello intelligent program that has allowed me to become smart and light …”